February 2005

Marriage, Divorce, and the Art of Being Single!

 Since February is the month of love, it is a great time to take a look at our marriages in light of God's Word.  In Matthew 19, Jesus shares God's thoughts on the subjects of marriage, divorce, and singleness.  We can sum it up with three short phrases taken from Scripture:

1--Two Become One Body (Mt. 19:1-6).  The marriage relationship is permanent for this life.  Jesus says that two unique individuals physically are joined into one person.  It cannot be undone!  Experts would agree that divorce is an extremely painful and unnatural process.  It does not effectively sever the marital relationship.  It continues and the baggage of previous marriages are carried forward into future relationships.

2--Divorce is a Result of Sin (Mt. 19:7-9).  Jesus says that Moses permitted divorce because of hard hearts--or sin!  If husbands love their wives as Christ loves the Church--then they can never divorce for any reason.  If wives submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ--then they can never divorce their husbands.  The problem is sin!  Neither husbands nor wives properly fulfill the role into which they are called.  Obviously, there are occasions when the behavior of the spouse is so destructive that divorce is the best possible solution.  It should be a last resort--not a matter of preference!

3--Singleness is a Gift (Mt. 19:10-12).  Our culture often downplays singleness as a handicap or a deficiency.  Jesus says that it is a gift!  We would do well to remember that the greatest man who ever lived (Jesus) chose to be single!  Marriage is often looked at as the only way to be fulfilled.  The truth is that we must come to marriage in order to serve our spouse--not to be served, to fill--not to be filled.  Marriage exposes our weakness:  Lonely singles become lonely spouses and depressed singles become depressed spouses.  Only God fulfills!

 

Pastor Ed Young has written what he calls, "The Ten Commandments of Marriage."  Let me share my adaptation of his list of marriage essentials.

1.  Thou Shalt Not Be a Selfish Pig.  It's not about you!  Bless your spouse today!

2.  Thou Shalt Not Live in the Past.  Break from previous allegiances: parents, friends, etc.

3.  Thou Shalt Not Live By Yourself.  Don't just live in the same house together--Live together!

4.  Thou Shalt Not Avoid Conflict.  Learn to effectively communicate.  Argue . . . then make up!

5.  Thou Shalt Not Live in Debt.  It's the #1 cause of marital conflict.  Live on a budget!

6.  Thou Shalt Not Compromise Sexually.  Your body is not yours--it belongs to your spouse!

7.  Thou Shalt Not Hold Grudges.  Forgive as Christ has forgiven you.  Don't bring up the past!

8.  Thou Shalt Not Take Your Spouse for Granted.  Intentionally love your spouse!  Bless them!

9.  Thou Shalt Not Quit.  It's not an option!  Work hard at building your marriage!

10.  Thou Shalt Not Struggle in Isolation.  Don't be afraid to get help!

 

Equipping the Saints!

 
Pastor Dave